Comfort of a messy house! Ok never thought I would say this but I find comfort in my messy house! ok ok I know what you are saying but let me explain. This week I have been caring for my nieghbors animals; they are a very young couple (20 and 21) and newly married. So ofcourse their house is very clean and very few things in it. Being over there caring for the animals I have come to realize that it is very uncomfortable! It feels cold and empty. However, my house used to be like this before kids and I loved it! Now I want to say before going further that my house isn't dirty. dishes get done every day, I vaccum, sweep and mop and bathrooms get cleaned on regular basis. What has changed is toys everywhere! And as I contemplated my change of heart I think I have narrowed it down to the fact that my house with toys strewn all about it tells me that I have an active healthy child in the house! Something I am so grateful for. After losing Anastasia I remember feeling anger that my house was so clean sometimes; I knew there should be a child here to mess things up and always be trying to step over toys to keep from killing myself. Brent is not affected the same way, I know it bothers him more that our house is not what it used to be, but I find comfort in the toys and whatever else Brigid has managed to find and drag out being strewn about the house because it reminds me of my little blessing!

Brigid Ann Marie Kaseman

Well meet our newest member to the family Brigid Ann Marie Kaseman born September 11, 2011. At times I am on top of the world and just infatuated with my sweet girl but I will admit there are times when I get very low and depressed. I still miss our daughter Anastasia and being with Brigid is a reminder of all the things I really missed out on with Ana. Sometimes I let myself give in to my grief and cry and other times I just suck it up and not let myself go there. It's hard to be upset for too long because all Brigid has to do is flash me that sweet smile or squeeze my face and try to eat my cheek and I feel much better. She is even beginning to look like Ana. She is a spirited baby and can't wait to see what her personality will be like as she grows (and quite frankly little scared to see it considering she is very spirited) One of the first things people tell me about her after spending time with her is that she has a loud set of vocal cords, which is true, she could probably outscream any baby! The beginning was rough, she was very cranky and close to being considered a colicky baby but didn't fully meet the criteria for that. Brent and I used to switch or sleeping at night, he would take her from 8pm-12am so I could have atleast one stretch of sleep, and then I would take her the rest of the night and day. She also hated nursing and was a constant struggle, so once we gave up on that and let her switch to formula and her tummy adjusted things started smoothing out and we came out of that newborn sleepy haze and are thoroughly enjoying our spirited 4 month old. don't get me wrong she still is fussy but I have just chalked that up to her personality and am better able to tolerate it but it is nowhere near what it was in the beginning and she loves to giggle and examine things; she is curious about everything! Welcome to the Kaseman family our little Brigid!